The Stinging Stigma Of Veteran Disability

From the day I was injured in Iraq, I encountered a stigma I never expected — one that followed me from the battlefield to the hospital, and eventually into everyday life as a disabled veteran.

It began at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, just a week after my injury. I shared a room with three other soldiers wounded in combat. Two had lost both legs in EFP attacks. Another had lost an arm and suffered burns over most of his body. As we exchanged stories about how we were injured, one of them looked at me and said, “What happened to you, man? You look just fine.”

That moment stung.

I pulled back my sheets and revealed my swollen, heavily bandaged legs. I had been shot by a sniper — the bullet shattered my femur, tore through my femoral artery, and damaged my sciatic nerve. Unlike blast injuries, sniper wounds don’t always result in amputation. I survived one of the rare scenarios where a sniper round doesn’t end a life, but it permanently changed mine.

Years later, I still feel the weight of that stigma. When I use my handicap placard — one I’ve had since I was 20 — I sometimes get the same look I got in that hospital room. People glance at me and assume I’m “just fine.” The unspoken belief is simple and painful: If you don’t look disabled, you aren’t disabled.

There were moments when I wished I had lost my leg in Iraq — not because I wanted the injury, but because it would have made my disability visible. It would have spared me from explaining, over and over, that my injury is severe even if you can’t see it.

As both an advocate and a person living with a disability, I’ve learned that many people simply don’t know how to talk about disability. They don’t know what to ask, what not to ask, or how to support someone without overstepping. So I created three simple, respectful questions that can guide conversations around disability:

1. “How is your everyday life impacted?”

People often want to ask, “What happened to you?” But this question shifts the focus to the event, not the person. Asking about daily impact allows someone to advocate for themselves and share what living with a disability actually looks like.

2. “What do you wish more people understood about your disability?”

After a recent foot surgery, I spent two months on a knee scooter. Mobility was difficult, and it made me think about people who rely on wheelchairs every day — especially when ramps, elevators, or accessible entrances are missing. This question opens the door to empathy and awareness.

3. “How can I support you?”

Some people may not need anything. Others may appreciate small gestures, like opening a door or carrying something — the same support I needed when I was on crutches after my injury. Asking this question communicates respect and willingness without assuming.

The stigma surrounding my disability once made me want to stay silent. But silence doesn’t change systems, perceptions, or culture. Educating others — and speaking on behalf of those who feel unseen — is exactly why I founded Lion Speaking Agency.

Every October, we recognize National Disability Employment Awareness Month, a time dedicated to advancing inclusion, accessibility, and opportunity for people with disabilities. If your organization is seeking a speaker who can bring lived experience, advocacy, and education to the forefront, I invite you to reach out or visit my booking page.

Disability doesn’t always look the way people expect. But every story deserves to be understood — and every person deserves to be seen.